OK. I have always wanted to do a movie on Skunkapes. The Skunkape is a knockoff of Bigfoot and of course there are some definite similarities between the two (odor, ape like movement, only spotted by drunken rednecks). My movie would focus on the legend of the skunkape migration into Ohio and the expedition to find and kill the Central Ohio skunkape.
The party would be comprised of the best and brightest minds that the Saswanee trailer park has to offer. Red is our groups leader who loves to collect used Red Man pouches, thus his name. He also claims to have spotted the Ohio skunkape in a remote wooded area close to the Saswanee trailer park, while searching for the elusive 1981 limited edition Dukes of Hazard Redman pouch.
Our next party member is Betty Sue. She is the girlfriend of Red and has the worlds biggest hair. Yes, big hair is still in people! She works at the local diner and has plenty of time to read the Sun news to keep up on current skunkape sightings. She also likes to rebuild old Chevy carburetors in her spare time.
Next is Skip. Skip is the dirtiest man alive! Skip is also the grounds keeper at Heavenly rest cemetery and has also claimed to have seen the elusive skunkape. Skip's one driving goal on this expedition is to be the one who shoots the skunkape and sell his head so he can get a new set of tires on his old Ford pickup truck.
And finally there is Earl. Earl is unemployed and lives with his mother. Earl had a job at the local night crawler farm but was fired when the owner found Earl touching himself while looking at a picture of Buck Owens.
In the end, our prey would be nothing more than a fat hairy man who loved to run naked through the woods. He lived in a small shack near Saswanee trailer park, that was littered with porno magazines and little Debbie snack cakes.
Now, back to reality. We find that rednecks love to find a reason to party in there trailer parks. Looks like the legend of the skunkape will live on, at least as long as the Budweiser lasts.
Enjoy

Believers, skeptics celebrate legend of the skunk ape
By TRACY MIGUEL, tmiguel@naplesnews.com
June 13, 2004
The second annual Everglades Skunk Ape Festival attracted more than 100 believers and skeptics to a day of live music and food at the Trail Lakes Campground in Ochopee on Saturday.
Tales of South Florida’s skunk ape, a homegrown counterpart of Bigfoot in the Northwest, have circulated locally for decades.
The festivities began Friday night with live bands and about 75 people.
"It’s mainly about having a good time and a way for people to talk about what they have seen," said Collier County’s skunk ape expert and host of the festival, David Shealy.
Despite never having seen a skunk ape, Naples resident Ron Mitchell said there was great music and food.
"This really is Southern hospitality in Southwest Florida," said Mitchell, who was visiting the festival for the first time.
The event was a fun way to spend Saturday with family and friends, said Jonathan Thompson, who had camped at Trail Lakes Campground before.
Shealy’s first sighting of the skunk ape was 30 years ago. He was 10 years old, and he and his brother, Jack, were out hunting when they saw it.
Since then Shealy has devoted his time to showing his videos and pictures of the skunk ape to the public.
In the past, Shealy has appeared on TV shows such as "Inside Edition," "Extra," and "Unsolved Mysteries."
The skunk ape has characteristics which make it different from Bigfoot. It weighs about 300 pounds, has reddish-brown hair, is 7 feet tall and eats beans, said Shealy.
The skunk ape also has a distinctive odor.
"It smells like boiled eggs, toilet, dog breath, and paper bags that stick so much," said 12-year-old Hannah and Dylan Ward, 6.
Yet Shealy isn’t the only person who claims to have seen the skunk ape in the Everglades and Big Cypress.
"It sounds a bit stupid, but in the beginning of August 1998 I saw something strange and amazing, like a bear and half man, that walked like a monkey when I was camping here (Ochopee)," said Jurgen Hartmann, from Heidelberg, Germany.
Many first-time guests enjoyed their visit to Ochopee.
"This is Florida, a neat thing to come to and meet nice people," said Ryan Larry, from Naples.
The festival included live music by Hot Country and Southern Impact and a Ms. Skunk Ape contest, won by Missty Haney.